Nairobi! Nairobiii! Hamusiniii!
Just like that it’s Wednesday, I have done good so far. This counts a win, I don’t care what you all have to say right now but all am lacking is a nice lady, glass of whiskey and some nice music playing on the background resting on a white beach in Diani or Zanzibar, my dog running all round chasing waves, am getting there. All this will one day pay.
Adulting is so stressful. Am only in my twenties hanging out with 30-70 years dudes. Am even starting to look like an old dude, but who cares this way I survive, this way am making a living, this way ladies and gentlemen of the press I can even think finding a nice lady you know depending on the going might find two; blessing, but am really focused on this one and she isn’t cooperating, am really considering other methods. I know I sound like am ranting but this is the only way I get to tell this tale at a male’s perspective, am really trying to find out what really went wrong for them ladies to start comparing us to dogs. I get it real men love dogs but that doesn’t mean we dogs not that I care I just want to know why?
Saturday morning around 4:00 am
Phone rings violently somewhere near me. I wake cursing every living thing.
Unknown caller: “Muigai umeamka? Ata hujaamka naenda kuamsha gari tokea hapo KU sai”
(Hangs up)
Me: Hallo? Ati? Ni nani? Hallo? Hallo?
(Realizes he hanged up)
I wake up really confused. With my nature of work this is normal thing Sunday or Saturday mornings no one wants to work so here I slide in and make enough money to enjoy a full rack smoked pork ribs with onion rings. I decide am too young for this kind of hustling and go back to sleep. Furthermore, I just paid my rent I got a place starve and it’s not like I got any plans for the weekend so it’s not like I need all that money.
5 minutes later. Phone rings
- Me: Hallo!
- Unknown caller:Umetoka?
- Me: Ndo huyu mimi at napanda honda
I lie while trying to find my socks belt at hand. I realize I have worn my t-shirt inside out. Who cares it’s still dark outside and am pretty sure by the end of the day I’ll have it right? About fifteen minutes am standing illegally on the highway waiting for God knows who. This is normal we just have to trust the process and we men have a way of trusting easily no wonder we tend to like everyone. For me wear a nice dress, indulge me in a conversation, challenge me and I’ll be there falling for you hard. Today am working with strangers, it’s going to be an eventful day.
Surviving Nairobi requires a special kind of skill and brain use. Here you either rely on sponsors, parents or the other men you dating or find the bag yourself; gunia siku hizi, like your hustling boyfriend. Here we hustling like drop outs with qualifications enough to teach a form four kid Swahili. Am an impatient man and I don’t believe in the so called process. I was raised to find not wait, I was raised to go find, knock pray and find. Am a 33-seater “accountant” this way I get to enjoy to shout anywhere anything I want or abuse anyone in the highway and get away with it. Not that I do it but that’s what I hear people say we do. I also get to enjoy a game of tom and jerry with them cops, we here to secure the bag in all ways possible, please forgive us we not doing per the government laws.I know most of you don’t know this but for you to get from one location to another we wake up pretty early, some as early as 1 a.m., but do you all appreciate? No wonder we all salty to each other.
Anyways few minutes later a 33-seater bus KCY named ‘zabalenta’ pulls up, it’s around 4.40 am in the morning but you can still hear the bass roaring only this time at a low relaxing volume. For those plying from town (Odeon) to Ruiru (campus)/ Kimbo and Juja know what am talking about. You want more ask KU students about Lopha Travelers.I smile as he flashes lights at me while running towards the vehicle. This is what I’ll be doing for the rest of the day, spank the vehicle, shout then run after the vehicle. I board the front part of the vehicle “VIP” as commonly known and there already two dudes clumped together to save space for me. For some reasons we all obsessed with this part of the vehicle, cockpit for a manyanga, no wonder you’ll find guys clumped here with no one at the passenger section music playing full blast at on a Monday evening racing to town.
Twenty minutes later we waiting in line at Juja, I can already fill this will be a good day.
This is typical morning for any Kenyan conductor. Yes, am one of them and this time am writing about my experiences. You all conclude we are evil but have you heard our side of the story? Do you think we like it?
About Muigai Chege
Yo, what's up! I'm Muigai Chege, an introverted teacher by profession but a 33-seater accountant, AKA kondakta wa manyanga, hustling, He wasn’t joking when he told JKUAT graduands there are no jobs. I'm here to share my experiences and give you a glimpse into the world of an introvert surviving in the hustle and bustle of Nairobi. Change the perspective, mara makanga hajasoma, sijui ni wezi, who thou? We all tend to forget being a makanga is a hustle not a calling or a job for the dump, it requires a special kind of patience and tolerance. Imagine dealing with different 33 people every trip the whole day, everyone in their own mood?
This is The Introvert's Perspective, and I'm stoked to have you along for the ride. As a teacher, I love inspiring young minds and making a difference in my community. But when the bell rings and the day is done, I'm out there grinding as a kondakta wa manyanga, slinging change and cracking jokes with the locals. It's a wild and crazy ride, but I wouldn't have it any other way. My writing is all about keeping it real and sharing the ups and downs of my crazy life. Whether I'm reflecting on the challenges of being an introvert in an extroverted world, or sharing my thoughts on the latest trends and pop culture happenings, I always keep it fresh and engaging. As an introvert, I know what it's like to feel like you don't quite fit in. But I also know that there's a whole world out there waiting to be discovered, and I'm here to help you navigate it. From music and fashion to personal growth and self-discovery, I've got you covered. So if you're down for some real talk, some laughs, and some serious introspection, hit that subscribe button and let's get this party started. The Introvert's Perspective is all about connecting with people, and I can't wait to hear from you. Peace!
